Baby Showers are kept to welcome the baby. Though generally it is kept before the baby is born may couples or even single moms want to keep after the baby is born.
A 'post baby' baby shower with second baby was tried by a couple. It was definitely better than if they had tried to do it before the baby was born. They decided to keep the sex of the baby a surprise so although they already had baby items from their daughter, they didn't know what they might need for a second 'unknown' baby. They ended up having a son so it was wonderful to get boy baby clothes which they did not have (he spent his first night home from the hospital in a pink blanket!). My wonderful friend did all the shower arrangements at their home so they didn't have to do anything or go anywhere with a newborn. It was about a month after he was born. They had lots of family and friends, everyone got to see the baby - definitely a good call. I think a 'post' baby shower is a great idea no matter whether it's your first, second or whatever. You always realize the things you Really needed after the baby comes anyway!
I think a baby shower ANYTIME is a reason to celebrate, especially in your circumstance. However, I would check with your baby's pediatrician (or ask your OB/GYN if you don't have a pediatrician yet) what the guidelines are for
exposing your newborn to a large group of people--you might have to wait a few weeks until the baby's immune system is stronger. And if you can have a friend or family member help you with the party, that would definitely be a great help. But I would think people would be delighted to come and shower gifts upon you, before OR after the birth (and as an added bonus they get to meet the baby!) Congrats, & have fun!
How big will this shower be Is it a surprise If it's not a surprise, get a list from the honored guest of who she would like to invite. Call or send invites to all these people with time, place, date address and rsvp number. (Be sure the place is a comfortable size for the amount of people.) If the mom/parents to be are registered somewhere for gifts you can tell people that when they call to ask about gifts. It's considered ''gauche'' to write that in the invitation. So...also have a list of needed items and equipment. You can provide food, or ask specific people to bring things. Is it an afternoon shower then you can do finger food. Is it lunch Salads, stuff for sandwiches, Brunch Bagels, fruit, pastries. I've put on a few showers and they are basically social gatherings. No games, just good company, eating and opening presents. Will other kids/babies be there Have activities for them...crayons, paper, puzzles, or a few good videos in another room. Men are often invited to showers...I think more often these days than used to be. Decorations....Colored or baby theme napkins, plates etc. are always a nice touch and a few balloons. You don't have to go all out. You can also ask other good friends of the parents to be to help with purchasing decorations and setting up. People are usually happy and wanting to help.
I'm not opposed to all-women's showers, but I prefer the message a coed shower sends. Dads are so often ignored in baby preparations and discussions of childrearing (for example, ''Parenting'' magazine actually refers to itself as being a resource for moms, as if dads aren't parents, too!). Expectant and new fathers are going through a big transition, too, and I hate the implication that only moms would care about preparing for the baby. It is possible to organize a party that celebrates both parents and isn't overly girly and gushy. That way the men will feel like they are wanted at the party and valued as
parents. As for the other details, parties vary tremendously. A short party (90 minutes) in the afternoon might require only a little snack food and a cake, for example, while a lunchtime or dinnertime party would be more elaborate. It also doesn't take tons of decorations to make it clear that this is a shower. Party stores will have stork/baby/ teddybear decorations. If you think it would help, check out a book or two from the library on throwing showers. They'll have tips on games, themes, organization, etc. But really, the main thing is just to bring people together to help support the new parents. Enjoy! pro-dad mom.
There really are no hard & fast rules for baby showers. Remember it's just a party for your friend. The best approach is to ask her what she'd like to do. People often have really strong feelings about games v. no games, for example. Let her make the guest list (including whether men should be invited), maybe along with you if you have a lot of mutual friends. The best parties are those where the guests feel comfortable and get along they'll together. Usually baby showers do include some sort of food, dictated by the time of day. If you don't like to cook, schedule it for mid afternoon when snacks and drinks will be sufficient. You could also go to a restaurant or tea shop if cost is not an issue.
Or another great idea. is to give over the planning to a dear friend or relative. You will be very tired and maybe not up for the 'games' but seeing everyone and having a short intimate party would probably be great and everyone will be very excited to see your new one. Any time after the birth would probably be great, but do allow some time for post recovery period.